Speech Acts

The philosophers say there are words
                 that do things, make themselves
                 real in the world,
so that when you said
                 I promise,
                 you had to have meant it
and when together you said I do
                 the bond was real in every sense.

Those are the examples, but there are others
                 like when I said I’m queer
                 it did something – not to you
                 (tho I guess a little bit to you)
                 but to my world and my body
and when you first taught me the word
                       woman
                       man
                 that did something too.

I think these words are the closest real thing
                 to prayer. To toss a stone across
                 the frozen pond and see if it smash
                 open or skip with grace and stop.

But my voice will not hold my body.
And I don’t know if I can speak transition
                 or swallow it.

Tell me, can I say
                 I am?